Friday, June 18, 2010

Grief is Sneaky

I've been formulating posts in my head for days. Some are funny. Some are venting. Some are crazy. Some are sad. Some are all of those things, but I'm too tired to post.

Tonight I'm just writing, writing because it feels good to get some things off my chest. Today I was taking Aubrey to VBS and as I was waiting at the stoplight I saw the Klein Funeral Home hearse drive by. The man driving the hearse was the same one who I watched from the porch of my parents home drive off with my Mom on May 30, 2007. I didn't cry that day. I knew she was going to die. I was numb to it. Today was different. I wasn't expecting to see the hearse and the tears I should have cried three years ago all came out today.

I cried.

I needed to.

It felt good.

I'm still sad some days.

Most days I remember her with joy and happiness.

She was a good Mom.

She is a good Mom.

I still miss her.

Grief is sneaky. It comes out of nowhere, even three years later, when you think you're all cried out, there are still tears.

4 comments:

Rochelle said...

Oh sweet girl...sending prayers and love

Mike and Jess Richey said...

Praying Abby.

Julie Marler (Mammy) said...

Can't imagine this grief.... I've truly never lost anyone that I was this close to. I wasn't very close to my mom or dad so when they died it wasn't like this. But I have so many in my life that if they left me.....well, it wouldn't be pretty -at all!
Your mom was a great woman. Your mom is a great mom. I miss her too. She is so proud of you Abby! I wish she was here to rock your little babies, to kiss your big babies and laugh with them. I wish she was here to help you, laugh with you and cry with you.
Life is not fair...but God never told us it would be. Only that He would walk thru it with us.
Love you Abby!
Mammy

faith. said...

abby, you are wonderful. your words make me feel close to you. love you.